So, as instructed, I waited. You aren't supposed to brush right away as they put some microbiotic up in their gums to promote gum growth and health and brushing will get rid of all that expensive medicine -- and here we whine about fluoride treatments. I bought the doggie toothpaste and the doggie toothbrush. I read the instructions and then read them again.
I let Loki taste it. He liked it. I felt pretty self-assured. Loki's good about holding still. He never runs out of the house and he's always sat when I said "sit". I felt confident. I felt ready for this. I started pushing the toothbrush into Loki's mouth thinking, "I can do this," and that's when every good, happy, positive thought I had flew out the window. He clamped down and gave me this wild-eyed look like I'd just violated him somewhere.
This...this was not what I'd bargained for. I pulled the toothbrush back and looked at it skeptically, then at Loki's clenched mouth. Ruh-roh, Raggy, this might be a problem.
He's a schnauzer so he has a cute beard. Something I've always been very fond of. Something I wanted to cut completely away after only a minute or two because, note to the unwise, brushing a reluctant dog's teeth who happens to have a lot of hair in the facial region just makes your job a hundred times harder. Possibly a thousand. I thought this like a hundred-and-one times while wrestling with his mouth. Fat lips, hairy beard, they were all against me. It was a conspiracy of the most devious kind.
I had bought one of those toothbrushes that you slip onto your finger. Looking at it, I vaguely wondered if he might be having a few proctology fears because there was more than a passing resemblance; I gave Loki the benefit of the doubt,and set that one aside and sent Jake on a search for a small, kid-sized toothbrush.
Yeah. That didn't go over any better, and in fact, he just started making pitiful gagging motions when I tried to reach those molars way in the back. Do you have any idea of just how far back a dog's mouth goes? We're talking Sarlacc pit, imported straight from Jabba's desert. It never seems to end and when it does, it convulsively tries to chew down on anything in biting distance.
Eventually, after having suspicions I might be OD'ing my dog on toothpaste, I pronounced Loki, "As done as you're going to get and boy do I have some questions for your vet tomorrow!"
That was when I shifted my attention to Frodo, the white poodle mix with a mouth even smaller than Loki's.
For the record, we're talking way smaller.
I think they make cat toothbrushes. I think I need one of those.
Frodo thought the toothpaste was crap, and that was pretty much his opinion of the entire idea as a whole. I managed to get a few back-and-forths in along the front; the back so wasn't happening, not unless I wanted to wear Frodo's lunch. Did I mention I need to get a cat toothbrush? It's not bad enough we already suspect he's the first dog-cat hybrid, but now I'm contemplating buying cat gear for him!
Loki's never going to let him live this down.
The Guilty One:
The Braver One:
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